The Emotionally Healthy Family
Page Three
Sensing the Community and World
In a healthy family, children grow up realizing that they are not only a part of a family but also a part of a community and of nations beyond their own national borders. The days have passed when we could think only of ourselves. Hardly anything can happen in one country without another country being affected. Children need to become aware of their responsibility for knowing what is happening to their fellow human beings regardless of where they live.
In the Christian home, children need to learn that their responsibility to the world goes beyond mere knowledge. It extends to finding ways in which they can help. Reaching into their pockets for money to send gifts to those overseas who may be less fortunate is a concrete example that children can understand.
Unfortunately, in most homes children never have the opportunity to share in this way. Children grow up thinking about themselves, their own toys or cars, their own possessions, or whatever. Thinking about other people in the community and in other countries, praying for them and helping them have never been a part of their experience.
It’s up to parents to help each other and their children develop a world view. No family needs to curl up within itself and live like a snail. Parents need to show an example of being interested and caring about people and organizations around the world.
Becoming Spiritually Fulfilled
The healthy family is one that cares for all three areas of human life: physical, emotional, and spiritual. Many families neglect their spiritual needs, especially those of their children.
 As husbands and wives we need
to encourage each other to be
our best for Christ. No father or
mother need to remain
spiritually stagnant. We need to
help each other grow.
Children, like adults, are spiritual beings. They have souls that must be fed or they will become dwarfed. Just as their bodies must be fed and clothed, so their spiritual natures must be nourished and cared for.
Once while traveling on a plane, I sat alongside a businessman who told me about his family. He was very proud of his son who was a fine athlete. This man said that he had made it a point to encourage his children in school, work and sports. He was sending them to one of the most prestigious colleges in the nation so they could make the most of their lives. When I asked him what he had done to meet his children’s spiritual needs, he looked at me as though I had just arrived from outer space. He was not a Christian, and he never thought about bringing God into his family.
As husbands and wives we need to encourage each other to be our best for Christ. No father or mother need to remain spiritually stagnant. We need to help each other grow.
As parents, we need to ask ourselves if we have given our children eternal values. Have we done everything possible to help them develop a strong faith in God? We can help our children spiritually in a number of ways. To begin with, we can be examples of godliness; we can lead righteous lives that please God and give our children what Christ does in our lives.
Meeting a child’s spiritual
needs determines where he will
spend all eternity. Nothing
affects a person’s mental and
emotional well-being as much as
having a personal relationship
with Jesus Christ and knowing
the Bible well.
The greatest joy and responsibility, of course, is to lead our children to a personal relationship with God. But spiritual care doesn’t stop there. We can teach our children about the Lord and help them interpret current events in light of God’s Word and his plan for the world. Formal Christian education can also be very helpful. With so many outstanding schools, and with numerous fine Christian colleges, many boys and girls have an opportunity to receive a Christ-centered education.
Meeting a child’s spiritual needs determines where he will spend all eternity. Nothing affects a person’s mental and emotional well-being as much as having a personal relationship with Jesus Christ and knowing the Bible well.
Identifying Personal and Family Goals
Just as an individual needs goals, so does each family. In a healthy family, parents encourage each other to achieve their goals. They support their children in making goals and in reaching them. Sadly, many children grow up without having any goals at all, and consequently, they have no direction for their lives. This is devastating.
Children need to understand the family’s goals and contribute toward them. Parents can discuss family goals with children during family get-together times and family devotions.
In an emotionally healthy family, each individual is interested not only in his own goals, but of those of the entire family. Everyone works to help the others achieve their aspirations. Unfortunately, too many children grow up in homes where they eat meals, go to school, go to sleep, and repeat the same routine the next day. They stumble through life without a definite goal. With only one life to live, it’s important to know which way to go and how to get there. This helps a person to feel good about life.
Working and Playing Together
One of the joys of healthy family living is in working and playing together. In these modern times it’s easy to for the son to run to Little League, the daughters to Girl Scouts, and Mom and Dad to business meetings or other activities. As they are doing so, they may be running away from one of the greatest joys of life—working and playing together as a family.
When we spend time with
our children, we’re telling
them we love them.
When we spend time with our children, we’re telling them we love them. After all, we enjoy spending time with the people we love best. In a healthy family unit each person spends a considerable amount of his leisure and fun time with other family members.
Of course, this takes some planning. It always involves decisions—what to do and what not to do. A child would rather have fewer “things” and more of Mom and Dad!
Observing Good Health Habits
It’s hard for someone to act well unless he feels well. Parents have a responsibility to make sure that family members are in the best health possible and that everyone observes good health habits and feels fit. Mothers and dads do a lifetime of good for a child when they encourage him to observe physical checkups.
As a psychologist working with parents and children through the years I have been amazed at the number of adults who have told me that no one realized they had a hearing loss of a vision problem until they were nearly grown. One female physician told me, “I never knew that all people didn’t see double until I was in medical school.” She went on to say that because she had two eyes, she assumed it was natural to see two of everything! For example, when a child stood in front of her, she saw two images of the same child.
 Continued on Page Four
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